Wedding Address
May you honor each other as teachers, as mysterious wonders, as playmates who bring treats from your respective adventures away from the house.
May you revel in the space between you as much as in your blending.
Know that you are like trees who bend with the wind yet never loosen their roots, who drop their leaves every fall and flourish every spring, who give their loved ones shade and have endless nooks and crannies for an explorer to explore, as they are lifted by their feet to see the world from another vantage.
Be brave in the face of intimacy. True intimacy can make rise the fires of fear, but Where There is Fear There is Power and the only way to it is through the flames, which do not really burn but only hide the truths.
This courage, this alchemy of walking in fire will hold your eyes on new lands, familiar yet freeing.
Know that love, like life and ourselves, has seasons, that one year is never like another and that love does not stay fresh because lovers hold onto the same, exact ways of loving. There are always new ways, new grounds to explore around the corner.
The world is endless in its wonders and joys.
When the fires of anger are too hot, find the strength to say,
“Love, I am too angry to safely speak now, but I do love you and will come back after the cooling.”
When you are both drowning in the storms of the outside world, remember to shut the door and make the beautiful silence together that you so crave. Find those jewels, which can only be seen in the stillness, which glitter in morning light, through the mist on the water.
Know that trust is the foundation of your house. It is the beams, the braces, the nails in the floor slats – a sturdy house can hold anything. People can laugh through a storm in a sturdy house. Friends can find the matches by the hearth and the emergency candles in the basement cupboard in the darkest moments.
Do everything you can to build trust together. There is never too much of that.
Rejoice in the wonders you enjoy. Make a point of finding occasion to celebrate.
Remember to say, “I love you.” even when you are bored with love and busy with life.
Find interesting and unexpected ways to say, “I love you.” “I love you.” sincerely meant, has been known to melt the largest glaciers, to ease the most frightened lover, to make the unexpected heart leap and shine throughout an entire day.
Know that your friends and family love you and are here to support you and rejoice with you.